mayfair

 It was me, wak'in him up. I can't sleep. What you bn up to, he ask me? Not a lot, I just went for a long walk? You mean in your new car? Yes, I been for a drive in the alps. Looking for a hotel? Yes, I say. See anything interesting? Nothing I want to buy, I tell him. Looks like LA, he tells me. Looks like you driving out of my life forever. Why, I say, what I do? What you need me for, he say. You happy, I happy.  I'm bummed, I tell him? What's wrong, he ask? The new show isn't going so well, I tell him. Give it time, he say, there's over three weeks to go yet. You know what Richie say, I ask?

Who Richie, he ask. Justin, Bono? What he say, he beg, he ask me? No, the, you know, he was watching his own choreography+staging for Sheibe, utters "If I was in the front row and saw that, I would kill myself", I tell him.  He stutters, he ask? A guy at work called A,A,a a a a, A Arthur, stutters. I made the mistake of asking his name one day. We just met. It took him ten minutes to introduce himself, I was almost late for work but too embarrassed to just walk away when I needed to clock in. Frustrating for him I bet, but he set himself up. Probably nervous meeting me for the first time, though we waved at each other and smiled a few times. Makes me think twice about meeting other people now, in case they have the same problem. Not that it is anything to make fun of. Was a big laugh when I told the other guys though. Thankfully he wasn't there to hear. There was a hearing impaird guy there too. Did you know they have to wear a fluorescent jacket with hearing impaired written on the back now? Health and safety rules. Bad tempered, when I used sign language on him. Tried to say I am smiling and happy to see him, must have got it wrong.  What parents call their son Arthur, if he stutters? No he doesn't stutter, I say. Glad to hear it, he reply. Got any more shows planned for the USA, he ask? Maybe, I say.

Bill Clinton at least looked pleased to see me.

 If mercury doesn't get the f*ck out of retrograde I may give birth to a small menstrual alien on stage, I tell him. Or maybe that wouldn't be the worst idea....:) 23 days. It got cold at work too, last winter, he say. Minus 5 C. Only 23 days of hell, then, how many shows now, 150? You'll be touring a whole year! Can I see you after that? I doubt it, I tell him, I'm too busy. Where will you be sitting. We were going to have a dance tonight, he tells me. You and I, I ask him? You and me too, he says. No, I asked the secretary to organise it for Easter saturday, but she said it not worth it. Next year maybe. Maybe, I say him. Earth Wind and Fire are in town, he say.

 Ewa Farna (born 12 August 1993) is a Polish pop rock singer from the Czech Republic. She was born in Třinec, and belongs to the Polish minority in the Czech Republic. Farna released three studio albums with Czech lyrics, which sold platinum in the Czech Republic and were later re-recorded and released with Polish lyrics. Farna is the youngest commercially successful singer in the Czech Republic. She is set to perform at the 2010 Teen Choice Awards with her new English single.

What this picture, I txt him? It story of Japan's greatest samauri, samauri, called Masunaga Hidetoshi, who defeated 20 of his oponent's men in a single fight, when he was tricked, he say.

By the way, he txt me later. What, I'm a bit tired but hope he don't notice. Those teeth of yours, don't you love them?  Yes I llove my teeth, I tell him. And I do too, he say, I hope you happy with them, almost as if he personally responsible for giving me a thoughtful extravagant present like a car. They are so fantastic, I'm glad you like them too, he say. You seen Bill lately, he ask? Bill, I question him, for something you buy? No Billy Clinton. You not doing a Marilyn with him is you? As if, I say. He not President anymore like JFK. That a point, he admit.I'll tell you a story bout him one time.  Watch him though, he drinks his whisky out of a can of Oly beer. Had it specially done for him you know. Like in the impeachment trial, I ask? Enquiry, he say. That it. No he seemed sober the last time we talked, I say. Did he have his trademark apple in his pocket, he ask? I've never had the pleasure, although my friend Jet Li, knows him. How you know Jet, I ask him? He used to be Shaolin Trainee, til I left to get married, he telling me. I'm still his unofficial boss. I didn't realize you planned that, I tell him. Yes I'm their Emperor, but we don't call it that these days, more like spiritual master. You have to earn your respect in that place, there is only free lunch and that all.

 Who is the whore in the pics, I ask him? Your mom told you about her did she, he ask? Thats Sladja and Goran, and Luka and Vanji, friends who live in Belgrade. I met her online before Christmas 2005, and I was going to pay for them to come over and work here over summer in kiwifruitThen she got job in tax office. I made her chief of Dragon Systems in Serbia. That was five years ago. They never came, I asked? It seemed a bit sad. No I was held up in court with the legal stuff over the property  management order. I mentioned it as a high priority when I stll had $80,000 invested and the order came up for review in 2007, I think it was, when Patterson was still my lawyer, but then I blew it by accusing him of raping Judge Sommerville.

Did he, I ask? It depends what her dictaphone says, he said. I don't have it, she does. Then the Tauranga Hospital tried to detain me under the mental health act in 2007/08 after my neighbours claimed I had violate a trespass order they took out to stop me visiting. Why was that, I ask? I think because I drink too many beers when I there every week, and he thought I getting to friendly with Mrs. Were, you, I suggest? No, I say, she and he married. And I mentioned Sladja  to the judge during the judicial review. That was when the hospital accuse me of claiming I was Jesus. Not trespass,I ask? They didn't get stories straight, anyway there was no evidence of any crime. Judge didn't think it a good idea, that she visit, that she was after my money, but what money. Anyway it is up to the Property Manager appointed by Family Court and that decision was reviewed for another three years last January. and Craig Roebuck, the property manager to make decision and he said no. On what grounds is it awarded, I asked? Gaga, he say, they say I'm non-compos mentis. I cannot legally make a will or approve any expenditure because they say I don't understand what is happening around me. Don't know who my friends and family are. There is nothing on any medical report regarding mental illness that I have seen. It really is shameful because they are so blatent, yet nobody will advocate for me. Yes I do remember your telling me once or twice, I tell him.

Olympia, Manet

Masunaga Hidetoshi, by Manet.

Do you like the photos? I call her Eva, she not write to me after six months, and one year. That first shot that looks like the beach? It isn't, I ask? No, I remember walking along and pretending, but it is a family studio shot, and it is a drape. I know I said, Ive seen them. You say you are there, which one is you, and when was it? Take a close look, he say. I the one with O positive blood, smiling. It was ages ago. I won't say what happened. Too sad because no-one would help, Tell you later. Luka always try to be positive, he say, but he know what he have to do. He love his little brother very much, and very popular with all little girls. I sent him a sling shot and Sladja a cell phone, and some Licorice allsorts and a painting of Gladiolas. She say she see if anyone like that. And hse not talk to you? No she got me out of a rough patch five years ago, but when I sent her one ticket last year, she decide not to use it. May lose children if she travel alone maybe, I don't know. She like me, I ask? She like Queen and U2, he say, so I not sure bout tht one.

What this picture, I txt him? It story of Japan's greatest samurai, Samurai, called Masunaga Hidetoshi, who defeated 20 of his opponent's men in a single fight, when he was tricked, he say.  more