"It all began in school. It was probaly when I was about 6, maybe less, and still not sure what I wanted to do with my life, but I loved to sing and one day I was singing along with my hairbrush in my hand dressed in my mother's clothes and high heels, with her lipstick and whipped cream all over my face when she came home from church unexpectedly, so I was "
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Erwähnen Sie nicht den Krieg
Superstars
Bummer. He txt me first thing in the morning. Do you know what time it is, I ask him? No, he say, what time is it? It's fuckin 12.38 I tell him. That's in the afternoon your time, he say back. What time is it my time? I really have no idea babe, she say, What you want? You still goin on bout those shots of me an Elton lap dancing? The was a bit of a baby poo smell to them, he said, but no, its nothing, I drove up to get some gas and cigarettes yesterday, and when I was coming home I looked in the mirror and I had toothpaste still on my top lip. Nobody said nothing. How many cigarettes I asked. 25, he said. You know the price of fags these days, I said, you really should quit. Near $1 each, I'm going to, he said, but the government refuses to come through with my $40,000 Pall Mall money, so I'm under a lot of stress. Cn you cover me for $40,000? You claim Pall Mall, I asked? Since 1899, he say. Good luck, I say. During the war it was owned by the Nazi party, he say, and Red Cross paid them a lot of money to buy smokes for the prisoners of war. You still goin on bout the war, I say. It over. Get over it. Dont mentio der Krieg,
this a chop of you he ask, txtn me a pic? It looks like me I say, what am I saying. Don't know he say, my sound gone, I don't see any tats tho.
Well that's a give-away aint it, I say. Don't like tats he say, littl dragons can't have tats. Like your dress tho, he say. You can hardly see the lines. What else did Oprah say? Who? Did she tell you any jokes, he ask me? No. She told me one I say. Yeah, was it funny, I ask? Want to hear it, he ask me? Go ahead. Well a guy come to work sporting a shiner on his left eye, an his friend say, where'd you get that, you walk in a door. He say, no, I was making love to my wife last night,, an it was real good, better than ever, and it went on an on, an I wasn't on Viagra or anything. An after it finish, we was laughin and laughin, n then she says, what you laughing about? In I told her after I stop, well I was using a banana, and she think for a minute, then slug me in the eye. Sounds like her I said. Yeah, it was funnier if you were there, he say.
Whay you want the $40 grand for I ask him, not more smokes, I hope? No I want to pay back my sister the $10,000 she refuse me.
What $10,000, I ask him. Doesn't she have any money? She has heaps, but refuse to lend me $10,000, he say. $10,000 New Zealand, I ask him, that's nothing. I know, he say, specially when I'm getting 700 million a month fro internet. When's that coing in, I ask. She doesn't thin it ever happen, he say, so I put her in charge of 3M and tell her to wear a brown business suit and try to be persuasive using charts and graphs. And wh she trying to tip over I say? Winston Peters, he tell me.
I tell her as hard as it is for women in the work force it is a lot tougher for black men. And he's trying to get her job, I say. What do 3M do? Heaps, he say. Touch screens. High vis clothing, paints, solar cells, scotch tape. I think they even do 3M whiskey, but the spell it MMM, not 3M. I think I've heard of it, I say. He say, those touch screens are used in casinos worldwide, like Las Vegas, Atlantic City, Macau on gaming machines. MGM, So they play poker on them, I ask? I love it when you act innocent, he say, not dumb, but please don't insult my intelligence! When did I do that to you, I ask him? Not lately, he say, thank goodness. An your sister won't lend you $10,000, I say. Yep, even when I promised to pay her double the
interest the trust is paying her. Why, I ask him? Because they are greedy, and I want her to be secure in her retirement. What's the $40,000 for I ask? To live on, he say, so I don't have to rely on the government, and so I can sort out my life and get this money I'm owed. Sorry I can't help, I say. That's cool, he say, you don't know me I don't blame you for that. I'm not going to ask again. Why don't you find a job like other people, I ask him? I'm not other people he tell me. It isn't that I don't like to work, I'll stick to painting and programming computers and see how I get on. It's only temporary. What you do today, I ask? Anything? Wish I could say so, he replied. It's Sunday so I spent the day resting and growing my mind, no gardening, no lawn mowing, not even cooking.
