mayfair

Who shot Candy Warhole? video

  You awake, he txt me. Yes, I say lazily. You like my story, he ask? Sorry, I say, I went to sleep. Tell me another time when I'm not so drunk. Why were you drunk, he asked? Were you annoyed about something? Yes, nothing. Some jerk just slammed a door in my face I told him. Why was that, he wanted to know? He slammed a door and it pissed you off enough to want to get drunk, that doesn't sound healthy. I was (excuse me, poker face just came on the radio he said. I'll just go and listen to what you have to say).

How sick do you think I am, he came back? What? What are you going on about now? Was it that comment I made about about that boy who asked me why boys suck so much? No, he said, what did you say? I told him to look down at his penis and ask. What did he say, I asked? nothing, I said. Do you think I need to lose a bit of weight, he asked? I'm on a no alcohol diet until your concert, and hope to lose quite a bit. That's good, I said, no I don't think you need to lose any, I like you the way you are. Good, he said, cause one it comes off, it's not going back on again.

How was poker face, I asked. Oh, I changed it a bit, let me know what you think. That one bad romance, I changed it to WHIM, stead of capital H I M, till I heard five plays. Why'd you do that, I asked? Because I can, he said. It best if people don't get bored with the same song. You should tell everyone you only have a pair of kings, and to party on cause they might win some money. Your hand that good, is it, I asked him? I've nothing to compare it to he stated. Poker is a cerebal game. A good player don't need a good hand to win big.

 You got plans for tomorrow? What you talking about, I ask?  The sick thing he say? Yes that, I tell him, what do you mean? Have you been dressing up as Cher, he say. I suppose you know she's my Grandmother on my father's side, and the Queen is my Grandmother on my mother's side. You're kidding me, I said? Yeah, I hope you're being ironic, because otherwise that's almost an accusation of mental illness. It's all in my book, he say. You write a book, I ask? Memoir, family history. When I was in London, I was chatting up this beautiful woman I met, and she told me no, she's pregnant, it's obvious enough. It was obvious she like me. We visit the dolls museum in London, travelling in front on top of double deck bus, me staring at her stockinged knees. We had a good day, and she can have been no more than one inch pregnant. Later she wrote from Ostrich, and say it a boy, like my dad.

Why were  you so tired yesterday, he asked me? Went cycling, I told him. When? Yesterday, I txt. You're talking to Lance Armstrong, I said. There's no easy way to be first up the hill. Even the thought of cycling up a hill makes my legs ache with a pain so hard I want to get off and walk.

Pablo Picasso

Someone said "imagine the most important thing is at the top of the mountain".  Me? No Baby. An olympic gold medal? Nope. A cool drink, tomato soup, I know, a Nobel Peace prize? No, it's me! Huh? Your virginity? No. Okay, let me think, you're okay for money? Think! I'm trying to think, all I can think about is the leg putting the weight on  the pedal. Hang on, my legs have lost a lot of bulk. How many more hills are there? Wow, this is hard. It gets harder, I said. When? Exactly, we never know when. That's a scary thought. Keep on that track, I said. Scary? Scary monsters. Is Camilla up there? No. Laura Bush? No, it's what I thought of, I said. What? I saw little monsters. Breasts? Oh no, he said. My fans, I said.. Well, thats not a surprise is it? What's at the bottom of the hill? Last night when I went to sleep I saw the tree outside the kitchen window, and slept on the lawn in my dreams. You have a lumpy mattress I asked? Yes, I do.

George and Laura Bush

 I'm so proud to win 'Outstanding Artist' for Born This Way album at GLAAD Media Awards. Thank you so much to your organization. Lets remind the world that the zeitgeist continues to beckon for equality+change. The relevancy of freedom, the ying yang of hatred+love