"It all began in school. It was probaly when I was about 6, maybe less, and still not sure what I wanted to do with my life, but I loved to sing and one day I was singing along with my hairbrush in my hand dressed in my mother's clothes and high heels, with her lipstick and whipped cream all over my face when she came home from church unexpectedly, so I was "

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42-44 spencer avenue, maketu 3189
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Spider -

Ingredients (serves 4) Vanilla ice-cream, Creaming soda, Lemonade,  Coke or Passiona    

  • Method Place a large scoop of vanilla ice-cream in a tall glass and pour over creaming soda, lemonade, Coke or Passiona. Serve with a straw or spoon. Make the most of summer produce with our zucchini recipes, strawberry recipes and mango recipes

 

"Poker Face" is a song by American recording artist and songwriter Lady Gaga from her debut album, The Fame. Produced by RedOne, it was released as the album's second single in late 2008 for some markets and in early 2009 for the rest of the world. The song is an uptempo dance-pop song in the key of G# minor, following in the footsteps of her previous single "Just Dance" but with a darker musical tone. The main idea behind the song is bisexuality and was a tribute by Gaga to her rock n' roll boyfriends. Lyrically, "Poker Face" is about sex and gambling.

"Poker Face" was well-received by most critics, who praised the robotic hook and the chorus. The song attained worldwide success, topping the charts in twenty countries including the United States, United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand, Canada and many European countries. "Poker Face" is also the most downloaded song in the British chart history. It is among the best-selling singles of all time, having sold over 9.8 million copies. The accompanying music video for the song portrays Gaga singing it in various costumes and playing strip poker in a getaway villa.

 Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta (/ˈstɛfən ʌrməˈnɑːtə/; born March 28, 1986), better known by her stage name Lady Gaga, is an American singer and songwriter. Born and raised in New York City, she primarily studied at the Convent of the Sacred Heart and briefly attended New York University's Tisch School of the Arts before withdrawing to focus on her musical career. She began performing in the rock music scene of Manhattan's Lower East Side, and was signed with Streamline Records by the end of 2007. During her employment as a songwriter for the record company, her vocal abilities captured the attention of recording artist Akon, who signed her to his label Kon Live Distribution.

Superstars

He txt me early on 29th March. How are you? I tell him I got a bruise on my back the size of a small steak. What hpn, he ask? You fall or was it sex? What you think, I ask? Sex against the wall, he say. When I start Eastpack last year, Marie ask me what I like at screwing things up against wall. Said I had no idea, but keen to try. I ask if she help me, or I do it on own? Turns out I was on my own. Even had to spend own money on petrol to buy screws, which they paid for. Was it a good job, I ask? Ok he said. Minimum pay, but work, you know. What you been doing else, he ask? What all that stuff bout prince Charles an me I ask? Don't worry bout it, he say, I got drunk and lonely last night, and said stuff I shouldn't sorry. Don't do it agaiin please I say, I don't like it. Was having a good time on my birthday, and don't need harassing txts every 10 min. Sorry, still love me, he ask? Okay, I say. They play Close to Edge, last night, and I was shouting at radio, just jump fuckit. Thought you gave up booze, I said.

Yes, I have for a while. I'm 90kg, want to get to 70. So you weren't drunk. No, I was working. My sound on computer has vanished.

You have a contract that lets you keep the rights to your live recordings personally, he asked?

Cause if you don't you're being fucked in your rear bum. Bowie contracted to do a Millennium concert for me. He was first choice, and it was free concert in Gisborne, first place in the world to see the light, but he owned the recording rights, so it would have paid plenty, but he never showed. Why not, I asked? Never seen him to ask him, he said. I suspect he arranged someone different from normal to do the arrangements, but I'm only guessing. People assume I'm stupid, bad mistake to try to get one over on me. Why is that? because people inevitably end ip dead, one way or the other, physically or spiritually. There is not time in life for games, but business is quite tough. If something can go wrong, it will. Art is different. I love being an artist, I said. Have you approached United Artists about a deal, he said? No.


Mr Malcolm James Lorenzo Baker, Baker Publishing, Windsor,          42-44 Spencer Ave, Hilview Court, Maketu 3189, NEW ZEALAND

Dear Lady Gaga,

Have a nice birthday party babe, he asked? Great, I said. Did you get my presents? Not yet, I say, what you send me? I bought you a bottle of Ouzo, a bottle of Teacher's Whisky, and a bottle of Beefeater Gin. I don't drink, I said. I know, he replied, you can open a bar, or give it to your boys. What's your point, I ask?  Well imagine that you have an empty bottle of Grant's whisky. The three cornered, bottle? Yes, he said, and the square bottle of Beefeater gin is on one side. Okay, I said. And you have a bottle of Olympic brand Ouso on one remaining side, and a bottle of Teacher's scotch whiskey on the other, can you calculate the amount of alcohol? How big are the bottles, I ask? Lets say they are all 75ml, he says. And how much alcohol in each one, I ask? That's cheating he say. Ouso go cloudy when you add water, so I say it is 99.98 alcohol, the other two, whiskey and gin say on label, 40% alcohol by volume. Let's make it easier, and say they are one litre bottles. Okay I say, then it 180 ml alcohol. Sure, he say, you believe it?

Lady Gaga,

New York, New York.

USA.


 

Lookin good gaga.

What you mean, I say? Well, that's the amount that is taxed. You really think they put 60% water in whisky and gin? No, I said. Me neither. I wrote to the government twice about it, he say, but they

happy with the situation and don't see anything wrong. And you think you're right, I ask him? I'm not sure how much excise tax is paid in the UK, he say, but they could double it by being more accurate. That's a good point, I say. Yep, he say, We did have 40% labels printed for Claymore Whisky. The others are still at Qprint. You're lookin good gaga, he said. How are you feeling?
Ema bit green to be honest with you, I said. You don't think I'm a bit puffy? No, he say, perfect, and probably a bit blue as well, he asked? Get well soon. xxx,  gaga

What this, I ask him? What what, he ask? You said you had lablels printed for Claymore? I own the rights, he said.

To the name Claymore, or to the Whisky? Both, he said. No good having the right to the name Claymore  Whisky if you not allowed to sell it because the owner do that himself in his own name. What you driving, at I ask? In what way, u mean? What tyres I usin? he say.  You sayin you have whisky, I said. Come ovr anytime, he say. Well, Okay, I say, as long as you don't try to get me drunk. It won't hppn, he promise me. So you claim the name Olympic as well? It's a good device, he say. As soon as I write to the government and mention excise duty and Olympic brand in same breath, they get confused and can't handle it. Want 2C letters? No thanks, I say.


How do I know you wrote Poker Face, he ask me?  I believe you. You do, he ask? Sure, I say, why not? No, I was going to say, Poker Face story is on Wikipedia, but you only have my word for fact I painted Van Gogh paintings. Where you going with this, I ask him? Where you think it is leading us, he asked me? You want to paint me, I said? You want to paint me, he asked, because you're not going to. Okay, no then, I said. You like my irises, he asked? There's something about them, I told him. You should do some, he say, you have beautiful ones. Have you ever seen them, I ask him? Only in photographs, he answered. What are you talking about, I ask him? Your irises, do a self portrait. Oh, I say, I thought you were talking about a flower. Maybe I was he said. Thought, so, I txt him.

What day is it there, he ask me? Must be early, oh, Saturday morning, I told him. Is it already, he said, Wednesday was only a day or two ago. A distant dream, I said. You had sex yet he asked me? What, I said. Have you had breakfast yet? You said sex, I told him. Sorry freudian slip. I'm worried about that bruise on your back. It's okay, I said. No, it's too early for breakfast, something like 2.00 am. You been to bed yet? No not yet,  I told him. You know, he said, when that guy broke into my house and started beating me with his steel chain, I had a big bruise on my back, cause I was behind him, with my arm around his neck, and his hands were free, and he was using his chain to try to knock me out. I heard, I said. You seen photos, he asked? No. You sleep now, he said. xx


What's the deal with all these spider monkeys, you keep sending me, I demanded? Pictures of spiders, he said. Yeah, what's that about, I ask? Arent they cute, he said. Lovely, I told him. Yes they have always been my favourite, he said. Don't you think a Cathetral is like a forest, he asked? Yes.

The Archbishop of Canterbury was up at your folk's garage the other day, he told me. Really, I tried not to sound disbelieving?

 Sorrow, Vincent Van Gogh

What's he doing in New Zealand. Getting his car fixed, I think, he sai. He's very polite. Told me where to park when I go to Wales, he said. Where's that, I asked. Not in other people places, he said. But he didn't know much about engineering. I leant him one of your father's tap and die sets, he said. He was using the die, but was forcing it. To each his own, I suppose, I said. What's yours? Software, he said.


Been gettin lots of fan mail, he said?  Heaps, I answered. You? One of my fans sent me a poatcard, he said. You should contact the police, I said. No, it fine, he said, it's not a stalker. Thank God for that I said. I hate when they get on the web, and just follow you. No this is Sammo, he said. He/she. You don't know

weather or not your friend is a he, or a she, I asked him? Do you, he asked? No, I don't but Sammos's not my friend. I'll let him know, I said. I suspect he's a computer programme. Any of your other friends a computer programme, I asked? The Archbishop of Canterbury could be, he said. How do you figure that?


 country flag Sammo

Thanks Sammo.

He txt me, he's decided to charge all the artists in the radio, and in the recording industry 2% of their gross earnings as royalty fee for management services, so he can see what the average payout by the recording company to the artists is. 2% of the gross,I ask him? Yes you want to split it 50/50, he say. I'll draw up contract and get you to sign.

One of my fans sent me a poatcard 

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