mayfair

Two years ago there was a girl working in our local supermarket who looked just like you he said. What happened to her, I asked? She went away to university, I think, he said. And you didn't ask her out? No, well I'm in my 50's and she was probably 18, but she looked just like you at that age. I mean, if she had said to me, would you like to take m eout to dinner, I probably would have agreed, but it never happened. She did slip me a free packet of highlighters once though. How would you feel about us using her to make some commercials for our sun products, presenting her as a younger version of you? What sun products are there, I asked. Rice, he said, have you heard of it. Sun rice, I didn't know that was yours I said. Well strictly speaking it is a grower owned co-operative, he said, like sunmaid raisins but I still own the web sites

I went to the zoo, and I saw this camel, and it had its legs crossed, he said.

Was it playing tennis, I asked??

No it was just standing in fenced off area full of sand. he said..

He wanted me to stand in a grocery checkout, scanning groceries.

That is the impression we will be attempting to create, he said.There will be another message, "never give short weight, in a legal transaction". Have you given any thought to how you plan to invest the 100 million you will be getting, he asked? When will I be getting it, I asked. Just as soon as I get married, or get my legal rights restored, I thought I heard him say. You are probably so wealthy you don't need another 100 million. It's not that, I said. How much have you earned in the last 10 years, he asked? 10 years, I said? Yes, he said, since you were 14, til now, how much do you think you have earned, and how much have you spent? I have no idea, I said. When I was 23, he said, I did my first painting. It was about the return of Christ, from that Nostradamus quote "He will appear again in the east..." It was both literal and figurative, well actually it wasn't a painting,it was crayon on cardboard, but it was very good. Where is it now, I asked. Don't know, he said, probably burned, but the sky came up just as I imagined it. What was it, I asked? It was a whole circle of clouds,and the man was standing on a hill at Whakatane, looking east, and pointing east. Oh, I see, I said, but I couldn't imagine it. I'm building a fleet of aiircraft carriers he said. Where I asked? In China he said, there will be twelve to replace the Dragonfly. What is the Dragonfly, I asked? It was China's first aircraft carrier, but it disappeared in a storm on its return trip from New Zealand to China he said. What happened to teh crew, I asked? They all survived, he said. The Admiral made plans for such an eventuality, and they all made their way back home. I spoke to the captain. More bullshit I said. Yes, more bullshit, he agreed. Do you know how many soldiers I have. Nope, I tried to look disinterested. Over 200 million, he said. In China, I asked. Yes. The leadership are mine, the rest will follow. I see, I said. You know what I don't get, I said, is what you want from me.                           more