Page 1.
Page 2
"It all began in school. It was probaly when I was about 6, maybe less, and still not sure what I wanted to do with my life, but I loved to sing and one day I was singing along with my hairbrush in my hand dressed in my mother's clothes and high heels, with her lipstick and whipped cream all over my face when she came home from church unexpectedly, so I was "
copyright
All rights are reserved.
baker publishing. books, software, media.
Some say the truth is stranger than fiction. In this case fiction is surely a lot more strange than the truth.
If you are just looking for a gay adventure, try an alternate page.
Yes, its really me.
Superstars some more pictures of ME
Diary
Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga
Gagaklein is a wrap. 3 days of debauchery. Is it wrong to have fun when your working? Boys boys boys. I must stop drinking so much, my skin is starting to look like an orange peel.
Okay, here goes. I know you are all going to be shocked by this revelation, but anyway. You know how I called this the Diana Diaries, well it was for a reason. I was having a secret relationship with Jesus, or as he prefers to be called, Jesus Christ. He's had a crush on me since, dare I say it, before Rome was built. Back in those days it was hard for the Romans to get enough women, so who did they call on? The Sabine women, naturally because they were the prettiest. Wel the rest is history, but that Jesus, or Romulous as he called himself in those days, was an out there dude. Quiet, but deep, if you know what I mean.
So anyway to bring this into the 20th century, Diana wasn't getting on so well with Charles, as you already know. I can tell this story because Jesus has already confirmed it in his own book called My Life Story, which is stuff which isn't included in the official version because it is too shocking for innocent children, who mostly don't even know what a virgin is, and many do not need to know.
So Diana would call me in occasionally. There's a lot of people still don't know that Jesus spent a life as Andrew Parker-Bowles. He was married to Camilla Shand, (Duchess of Cornwall (Camilla Rosemary; née Shand, previously Parker Bowles); but well Charles met Camilla, and had a big crush on her, so Parker Bowles (we refer to Camilla as Sally around the house, what a rattlesnake that woman is), any way Parker bowles, the cad that he is, just said, well you want her old chap, you take her with my blessing. Never ennnnnnven an offer to fight a duel or anything. I suppose it is a genetic throwback to the days when teh Prince Regent, or whatever he was called, could have any man's wife, simply by arranging a secret meeting.
Dianna had been seeing Dody, and secretly had also been seeing his father. Well they have enough money, and anything the Prince of Wales can have, so can the Moslems.
Sometimes you can tell, when someone's eyes change from Hazel to blue, or something like that. Well he and I were laughing. We had survived, but before I knew it he was unbuttoning my blouse and starting o fondle my left breast. I didn't need to say "what do you think you are doing? It was pretty obvious. Any high school girl would have known. It was also pretty obvious, that the guy is a Diana nut, and even lives on a street named after her. Probably because he could never get over losing her to Charles. Whatever. Of course I didn't tell him, "It is I, Lady Gaga, not your fantasy woman.. So he was going for it, inside my shirt, so I said "What are you doin?" We were both still laughing and waiting for the ambulance ."I'm just checking on your heart to see if it is still beating", he said. Then I looked down, and he was right. His right hand was right inside my chest, up to teh wrist, and he was massaging my heart. Nothing wrong there he seemed to be saying.
I'm not sure when Diana died. According to teh official report, the Queen was outside the theatre, but wasn't allowed in. She was alive when teh ambulance reached the hospital, but may have been unconscious. I believe the offical report says the surgeon had to perform heart surgery, but may have inadvirtantly slipped, causing it to be divided in two, but maybe we shall never know who it was, or what happened for certain.
You can see how much Diana and I are almost alike when we have a blonde wig and sunglasses on. Her lips are a bit fuller than mine, but that's about it. I'm pretty sure that on that night, Jesus knew that it was me, and not the real diana who was sitting in the back seat. He was going under cover, and he was driving. We were all very happy, mainly because we had all been drinking a lot, but also because Diana and Dodi/Mohammed were going to announce that she and Dody were going to get married. Personally I don't think she saw anything in him apart form his money, but that is enough isn't it?
On that night Henri Paul, the head of security at the Ritz was driving, but nobody knew he wasn't there. he has never come forward to say he had an alibi, so unless he does, we will have to assume he is dead. So Jesus/Henri (not to be confused with Henry/Harry Diana's youngest son), said he was going to give us all a driving lesson. Im sure we shot through that underpass more than once, and Henri whipped out one end of teh underpass, pulled a huge handbrake 180 and shot back in teh direction we had just come from. He said something like, "Let's see if those Paparazi can keep up with a Merc!" Well I was quite lost, and we were just coming into another underpass, they all look the same to me, and Henri said, "Merde", or something like that, "I think that was bit close. It could have been when we clipped another vehicle coming into the underpass, but I didn't see it because I was sitting on the other side, on the left. Next moment, we wer going straight for a concrete piller and BOOM!.
I'm pretty sure Henri was killed instantly, because I never saw him move after that. The other guy in the front looked dead as well.
Immediately Jesus was in teh back seat with me. I knew it wasn't Dodi, because he was dead in the front seat. I also knew that he had been in the back seat with me when we got into the car, but I never saw anyone change seats, and I never had a chance to look into their eyes to see if they had changed.
