mayfair

My name is Watson. You will have heard about my friend Sherlock Holmes, Holmes as I call him. To be honest he doen't think much of my detective abilities, but to be fair I wouldn't say he goes off on wild goose chases or anythink like that, but for many years I have suspected he may have a drug addiction which affects his rational abilities. 

Right now we are starting an investigation into whether street prostitution should be legal. Most of my time is taken up with my radio show, and of course I like to stop by the gym on the way home, and I do a bit of martial arts in the weekends, but to be fair, it is ages since I have used my black belt, and I hung up the old sword donkey's years ago.

After the gym, I usually stop by the local and catch up with the guys, and of course there is Danny Juniour, but we won't go into that because it is private family matters that we don't want to go into.

To be honest with you about Holmes, he has been in the psychiatric hospital a couple of times, both times after being seen talking with little girls.

The first time when he called late at night, he says it wasn't that late, 9.00 pm, and he was on his way home from dinner with some friends. There is an allegation they mayhave been smoking some funny things, because (and I say allegedly) it didn't smell like pipe tobacco. The little girl who opened the door  and told him he was at the wrong address (he was looking for the chemist; and it wasn't to buy petrol) told him to go back to the main road and turn right. It was the first on teh right. When he went back to teh road, he turned left (that was a bit of a clue there) and when he got to the first intersection he turned right, went past teh first house, because he said he knew who lived there and it wasn't the chemist- or the mayor of New York, and drove up to the next house, waking them up. When teh story go out, obviously the police were interested, and it all came out in the hospital report.

The other time, he says he was coming home from church, and stopped by the lake to have a cigarette, and started talking to a couple of girls. He says he helped one out of teh water, and she was so heavy she almost dragged him in. The other one said she worked in an ice-cream parlour in town, and he was seen visiting there and asking about her. The police arrested him at home and founs a picture of a man with a shaved head pinned to a neighbour's letterbox. He claims one of the girls said said a man with a bicycle looked like a "girly man", and upon enquiries Holmes found out she meant  because he had long hair. He thought this was great joke and hung the picture on his neighbour's letterbox and suggested that he should get a haircut too, otherwise his own children might think he was a "girly man" because he had long hair. The judge wasn't fooled and they let him out after two weeks of treatment, and medication over christmas and the new year, but he was warned to stay away from younger women.

When there is smoke, there is always fire, is the general rule in the outback.