mayfair

Hi, bebe, he greeted me. You not happy baby, I asked him? Pressure getting to you, he asked? No, I replied. What are you working on. Don't know he said. I'm just copying a painting of a volcano which God gave me. Won't know what it means until it's fimished. Wealth, at least to whoever buys it. The full painting is Wealth, Long life, Love and Wisdom, but I haven't had two of the words translated yet. Somebody may get wealth, and long life, but not love. I think that is the point. How can you do that, I asked? It takes a long time to learn, he admitted. I don't know why God chose me over all other people. There are probably God's other chosen ones elsewhere in the universe. I'm sure there are too, I said. You go'in to tell be a story baby, I ask him? Do you remember the story of Adam and Eve, he asked?  Is this the one about your girlfriend Eve, I asked? No, this is the one about the apple trees, he replied. Actually Evie was my first daughter, when I was a Tuatara and swam out to Mayor Island.

  I saw her again when we became the first human beings, but I remember she wasn't that keen on me as a husband. It is in my book. We lived on that island while the dinosaurs died, and until people arrived, but it is complex. All tuatara were females. Then I began genetic engineering, but I  had already created the dinosaurs. This is the one about when you and I lived in Eden, don't you remember? No, I didn't know I was that old, I replied.

We had poisonous serpants, and one had decided to live in one of the few remaining apple trees, which hadn't been stripped bare. What sort of apple, I asked? Cox's Orange, he replied. Remember people were turning up dead beneath the tree, and people thought these apples must be poisonous. When we investigated, the serpant invited us to try an apple and they were fine. We brought some back for the others, but nobody would  eat them.

The serpant said that they didn't recognise it in the tree, but on the ground they would kill it, and asked us not to kill it, which we agreed not to do. So we had a supply of apples, but many people still were killed by the serpant when they tried to steel is fruit. I see, I said. That is different from the bible story. I made it up, he admitted, but it is better. Yes, I agreed, it has a moral and a happy ending.

What you doing, he asked? Just killed back to back spin classes. Eating a salad dreaming of a cheeseburger, I told him. You been calling me, he asked? No. Somebody has, he said. Don't like cheeseburgers, he said. I just like broccoli.